Anger management: How to Tame Your Anger

Anger management: How to Tame Your Anger

Do you fume when someone cuts you off in traffic? Does your blood pressure rocket when your child refuses to cooperate? Anger is a normal and even healthy emotion — but it's important to deal with it in a positive way. Uncontrolled anger can take a toll on both your health and your relationships. But anger also plays havoc with your own body. Research shows that anger can increase people's — especially men's — chances of developing coronary heart disease and having worse outcomes if they already have heart disease.1 Anger can also lead to stress-related problems, such as insomnia, digestive problems, and headaches. You can learn to control your anger, however. In one study for example, cognitive-behavioral therapy improved people's control of their anger and reduced their hostility, aggression, and depression.2 Here are some strategies you can use to simmer down. If you are in a relationship with a hot-tempered partner, you could both benefit from these techniques.

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Best Ways to Tame Your Anger

Think before you speak
In the heat of the moment, it's easy to say something you'll later regret. Take a few moments to collect your thoughts before saying anything — and allow others involved in the situation to do the same.

Use Mindfulness Meditation
During an episode of anger, you can practice mindfulness meditation, an age-old relaxation technique to calm your mind and body. To practice mindfulness meditation, sit comfortably and focus on your breathing in a way that your mind’s attention comes to the present. This needs to be done without letting your mind drift to concerns about the past or future.

A 2015 study published in Frontiers in Psychology reports that by practicing mindfulness, individuals can learn to maintain a relaxed mind and can experience a significant reduction of anger (trait) levels, internal expression of anger, state anxiety and depression.

Once you're calm, express your anger
As soon as you're thinking clearly, express your frustration in an assertive but nonconfrontational way. State your concerns and needs clearly and directly, without hurting others or trying to control them.

Think about your belly button.
Centering is a super-simple technique that even a child can use. All you do is focus your mind on your belly button, or rather, just a smidge below your belly button.

As you focus, tense those muscles and draw your belly button in toward your spine. If you’ve done any Pilates or yoga, you’ll be familiar with these deep abdominal muscles.

Doing this exercise is truly calming and empowering. It puts you in a state of calm control, so you’re less likely to react and lash out. I sometimes close my eyes for a moment and focus on my belly button. When I open my eyes and continue centering, I can operate more calmly and coherently.

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Relaxation
Simple relaxation tools, such as deep breathing and relaxing imagery, can help soothe angry feelings.
Try these simple steps:
Breathe deeply, from your diaphragm. Breathing from your chest won't relax you, so picture your breath coming up from your "gut."Slowly repeat a calming word or phrase, such as "relax" or "take it easy." Keep repeating it to yourself while breathing deeply.Use imagery. Visualize a relaxing experience from your memory or your imagination.Try non-strenuous, slow exercises. Yoga and similar activities can relax your muscles and calm you down.
Practice these techniques daily. Eventually, you'll be able to use them automatically when you're in a tense situation.

Practice Deep Breathing
By practicing controlled breathing, you can help soothe feelings of anger. Deep, controlled breathing slows your heart rate, stabilizes your blood pressure and relaxes your body. This relaxation technique only takes a few minutes, doesn’t require special equipment and can be used anytime when you are angry or stressed. Deep breathing will effectively calm you down and help you think more clearly.

Lie down and make yourself comfortable. Loosen any tight or uncomfortable clothing.
Place your hand on your abdomen.
Inhale slowly through your nose and try to keep your abdomen relaxed as you inhale.
Hold this breath for a few seconds.
Breathe out slowly through your mouth.
Repeat this process until you feel that you’ve regained control over your anger.

Take a timeout
Timeouts aren't just for kids. Give yourself short breaks during times of the day that tend to be stressful. A few moments of quiet time might help you feel better prepared to handle what's ahead without getting irritated or angry.

Use a Stress Ball
A stress ball can help you deal with an immediate episode of anger. As a stress ball prompts you to squeeze and release a group of muscles, it can give you some of the benefits of progressive muscle relaxation more immediately. After repeatedly squeezing the stress ball, your hand and arm will begin to ache and signal your brain to releases endorphins. This is a chemical that the body uses to relieve stress.

Also, a stress ball keeps you distracted from what you were originally upset about.

The next time you find yourself getting angry, just sit down and squeeze a stress ball while taking deep breaths to relieve your anger and stress faster.